Aversions

aversion n. - a strong feeling of dislike, repugnance, or antipathy toward something and a desire to avoid it.

My observations of child aversions:
1. Anything clean - this is a very broad category, so I'll break it down:
a. toilets - nothin' says "pee all over the back of me" like a freshly cleaned toilet. Once soiled, it never seems to get worse, but it never fails that after a good scrubbing, someone manages to whiz all over it.
b. windows - what is it with having windows clean enough to look through that drives them crazy enough to rub food, spit, boogers, etc., all over them?
c. mirrors - are those tongue marks??
d. toys - aversions to the toys, unless they are all picked up by you, and then they're fun just long enough to scatter them everywhere, then it's on to something else.
e. the car - (See also 1b) How does so much food end up on the floor and under their seat? And where did all this garbage come from? Let's not mention the cupholders...looks like a science experiment! Ewww!

2. What you picked out for lunch & dinner

3. What you picked out for clothes that day

4. Directions for safety & well-being (all other bad instructions, especially by "friends", filter right on through to the long-term memory portion of the brain)

5. Napkins - why use a napkin when the underside of the table works just fine? Or their sleeve...or pants, or your clean shirt. But when given the opportunity to use a cloth napkin, they decide they don't want to get it dirty.

6. Baby has an aversion to being laid down most of the time.

7. Bedtime - Unless completely & utterly exhausted, someone will come down in less than 5 minutes & say "I can't sleep". Baby's aversion is to his own bed. Wakes up immediately in his bed, sleeps in ours, even when we're not in it. Maybe I should read "The Three Bears" again...

8. (This one may be considered a non-aversion, or could go under the "anything clean" category) A clean desk calendar - unless decorated by lines and scribbles, the month wouldn't be complete. Must also be done right when the new month starts so as not to have a "clean" schedule for an entire month.

9. Toilet paper - this discovery is uncovered when I do laundry. When toilet paper is utilized, it usually requires the use of plumbing tools to regain a proper functioning biffy.

10. Parent-to-parent interaction - It could be quiet for 30 minutes and as soon as you begin a conversation with your spouse, everyone decides that it's their turn to talk to Mom & Dad. This also includes any affectionate gestures, which result in little bodies squeezing in at the knees to get in on the lovin', or just keep us apart.

Of course, this is all in fun...I just had a list of sarcastic funnies piling up in my head & thought I'd share it. Now it's time to start cleaning all of those #1 aversions...again!