This story begins many, many years ago. Back to the days that I rode around with Jason & his brother, Ricky, when we were young, carefree & ran around the Midwest chasing rodeos. Most of those trips involved a single cab truck and the three of us. So what does this have to do with gas? Well, you can imagine that riding with 2 guys for hours in a small cab isn't always a pleasant experience on the senses. Enter the term "fart sucker". If you haven't heard of it, it was the term used for that little triangular window that was in older trucks. If you had a back sliding window, it was also functional. Sometimes, if one was lucky, the owner from which the stink came, would not wait until everyone smelled it, but knowing that they passed gas (and who doesn't?!), would just reach over and open their little window before it permeated the entire cab. It was quite efficient at sucking the "bad air" right out.
Now, fast forward many years...no longer am I trapped in a small truck with 2 guys, but a large family vehicle filled with 5 little bodies. In the girls defense, they usually are not a source of raunchiness, but needless to say, that still leaves us with 3 boys, who are quite potent most of the time. So what's a sensitive nose to do? These days, the newer vans have passenger door windows that open. We do not have that luxury. Luckily, we do have windows in the way back that "tilt" open just enough that when you open the front windows just a tad, will create a vacuum right out the back. Now, we've tried just opening the front windows, but all that does is swirl the smell around from the back all the way to the front and seems to submit everyone to it's putrid terror. So, we've gotten it down to a science that if you open the back windows first and then the front ones, it's a much quicker air detox process.
Some of the problems...if the stench is not detected until it reaches the front, then all passengers are still subject to having to breathe through their mouth or cover their nose. Also, if the driver, (who has sole control of those fart sucker windows), is less sensitive or is less aware of the commotion going on in the back until all are subject to it, (or his wife tells him to open the windows!), can make for long, stinky trips.
So last week, on one of our family rides to somewhere, one of our kids was particularly struggling with keeping it to himself. (I won't mention his name, but he just turned 14 this month.) So, even though we had the fart sucker going in full force, I hear Ian in the back yell (as he's waving his arms around), "Ewww! That one's fighting back!" meaning, it wouldn't leave.
Ah, the joys of parenthood! Thank goodness for fart suckers and for those of you who dared to read about it! I hope you can take something away from this, or at least utilize those little windows on your future trips.
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