God is working in me through...Laney

 

I should have known from the very moment I found out I was pregnant with Laney that God was helping me with strength and courage.  Looking back, it's no doubt that's what He was thinking of when He gifted her into my life. 

We were living in Arizona at the time, in a 1970's-ish RV camper that we moved a few different places throughout that winter.  I was working overnights at a large veterinary hospital and Jason was working by day, as much as he could, doing farrier work.  A.J. was 6 months old at the time and, as you can imagine, caring for a baby during the day after working a 10pm to 7am shift was not a simple task.  It's even worse in a gooseneck camper mind you!  Let's just say that there were a few times when I was very lucky that he didn't fall all the way down the steps that went up to our bed in the neck of the camper.

I can't tell you how tired I was those days, but it started getting even worse.  Everything at work started smelling really bad and soon I started feeling sick.  "Hmmm, I felt like this when I was pregnant with A.J...I can't be, can I?" 

Enter my opportunity to be strong. 

Ever try to work (because you really need the money) when all you feel like doing is sleeping and puking?  Not a good combination in an emergency vet hospital.  Many a nights that I puked while getting ready for work, on the way to work, at work, and during work.  Then top that off with trying to sleep and care for a now crawling baby so your hubby can go out to try to find work as well.  I look back and figure that if I could make it through those circumstances, I could muster up the strength to get through most anything.

The courage comes in a little later.  As the seasons changed, so did our living arrangements.  We had traveled down south during the past 2 winters and went back up to our home in MN in the summer months.  (Horseshoers don't make money in the winter in MN, hence the need to travel to find work.)  So that summer, Jason was given the opportunity to shoe at Canterbury Downs, a horse-racing facility.  That job turned up connections that lined us up with the chance to do the same thing down south during the winter months.  We were excited that it might work for us both to do our jobs in Arizona that winter since my vet tech job was still available to me when we went back.  Unfortunately, he was not able to get many shoeing jobs there and we took the advice of another friend to try our luck in Texas. 

With $200 to our name, a truck with our bare essentials packed, a 1 year-old baby and one on the way in about a month, we took our chances and mustered up the courage to venture somewhere uncharted and without a clue of what to expect.  Our first 2 weeks were really tough.  We could only afford to pay for a hotel room one night at a time and would hope that Jason would find enough work to pay for us to stay there another night.  This went on for about a week.  He was finally able to get enough work so that we could stay in an extended stay hotel which was much more beneficial from a financial standpoint and the fact that the rooms had a stove so we could actually cook meals.  During that time, I must say that my main concern was that A.J. had all of his needs met.  I could get by with not eating much (even though I was 8 months pregnant), and as long as he was OK, I felt we were going to be alright for the time being.

A friendship, given by the grace of God to us, helped us get on our feet from that point on.  Jason's friend, Gary, had arrived in El Paso and loaned us money to put a deposit down on an apartment.  We made plans for our belongings to get hauled from MN to TX so we could make it a home down there.  With nothing but an air mattress and a TV on the living room floor and a pack-n-play for AJ, we made our apartment a home, and we were SO grateful!  We finally had a permanent place to live and feel safe. 

Two weeks before our stuff arrived, Laney came blazing into our world.  I say blazing because my labor went so quickly that Jason almost missed her delivery when he went to park the truck.  I had no more than sat on the bed and they hooked me up to all the gadgets and were soon throwing the drape over me & said "It's time to push". 
"Huh?!?  I just got here!", I nervously thought.  I cried to Jason when I realized I wouldn't be getting any pain meds, but 3 pushes later (with awesome coaching from my hubby) our little girl arrived and all was well.  We brought her home and didn't even have a crib for her.  Luckily, newborns don't take up much space and don't move around much, so we used the little changing table from A.J.'s pack-n-play for her bed on the floor next to us.  I don't recall any other feelings other than great joy and thanksgiving for having a place for our family to live other than icky hotel rooms.  (That might be why to this day I still don't get really excited about staying in them...it reminds me of how close we were to being homeless.)  It's one thing to go through that when you're young and on your own, and it's another when you are responsible for little ones who depend on you for everything. 

So can I say that the experiences we had back then brought me to a greater understanding of strength and courage?  ABSOLUTELY!  But, it's even in looking back on those times that I can recognize God's love for us and that He was always there providing for us.  We struggled, but we were never without what we really needed at the time.  In that courage, we ventured to a place that Jason was able to make enough money in 3 months than he had in almost the entire year before that.  I also found myself drawn even more deeply into my Catholic faith when we found a beautiful church to baptize Laney in.  It's in looking back that I see God's plan, and am grateful for every moment and experience, for it was in those moments that I was drawn into a deeper relationship with the Lord.